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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in apathy_rules' LiveJournal:

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    Friday, August 5th, 2005
    12:09 am
    victory!!!
    I beat Dave at squash!!! 3 sets to 1, woo, i just looked at a few tips on the net, lol who says you cant learn anything practical on the internet. Yeah and basically i just used my brain and stepped up my game and "put him to the sword" as he'd say. Then we went to this cool restaurant in manchester for a thai meal which was really tasty, i had my favourite the green curry.
    Job is going pretty well did a "real time scenario" today at work, basically my boss called me up and pretended to be a customer and i got appraised after it, and she said i did pretty well and helped me make my approach to calls more focussed and structured and stuff, was good. neway im gonna sleep
    mattxx

    Current Mood: content
    Current Music: tom macrae-boy with the bubblegun
    Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005
    5:47 pm
    moya
    this week has been pretty cool, learned all the systems applications for resolution and have done some real time scenarios and stuff, will prolly be out on the phones next week which will be good, had anna over last night and she insisted on cooking for me, lol which was cool, a nice treat.Think im seeing her again on saturday which will be fun. Tomorrow im going to squash again with dave then out for a thai, i love thai food its really good, might go there for my birthday party not sure yet gotta start thinking about plans for that because it really isnt that far off. Friday i think im in manchester for a house party and then saturday here again to see anna, sunday more hockey, lol and jacko will be on our backs about getting beaten again, i dont know how he expects us to beat a top of the league team with 2 of our best forwards missing and a bunch of lighweight or junior forwards replacing them, they just got put into walls a lot, least i fought back and got a total of 14 penalty minutes (1 tripping 2 hooking 1 elbows 1 slashing 1 roughing 1 interference) cant moan about the forechecking then, lol. Parents get back on monday which will be cool, kinda missed having them about and miss josh too, we need him at hockey badly as well. Anyway im off down the pub with kathy i shall post again soon.
    mattxxx

    Current Mood: bouncy
    Current Music: godspeed- moya
    Monday, August 1st, 2005
    6:18 pm
    vision
    so yeah, my eyesight has come back in my right eye, woo, you know when ur tv goes all fuzzy and u bang it, doesnt work with ur head, lol. Seriously though it was scary while it lasted. Think sian is coming over for a pizza before she goes to her bf's which is cool coz i havent seen her in ages.
    I've got 6 days paid holiday between now and end of november so i gotta have a think when i wanna book off. Anyway im bored im gonna go watch tv
    mattxxx

    Current Mood: content
    Current Music: decemberists-16 military wives
    Sunday, July 31st, 2005
    11:04 pm
    im ok
    yeah so im ok, just a swelling of the optic nerve which will go down in time, fucking annoying tho coz i still cant see properly.ne i have a really sore throat too so im gonna go to sleep
    mattxxx

    Current Mood: irritated
    Current Music: breed 77- la ultima hora
    8:16 pm
    game day
    yeah we got slaughtered as usual, and i got lots of penalties for kicking shit outta people as usual, but got checked from behind into a wall and now i cant see outta my right eye, so im going leighton hospital to have it checked out, ill post again if and when i get back
    mattxxx

    Current Mood: gloomy
    Current Music: n/a
    1:36 pm
    it didnt take her long
    Yeah last night was cool went for a drink with people and before that me and dave made gunpowder and blew up a tree lol, it was a dead tree before anyone says anything.Went out with anna fri night and sat day which was cool havent seen her in ages, dunno why i dont see her more often.
    Today is the day of the big match, we will prolly get trashed but if they start slashing or tripping me then someone is going to hospital (again) last time we played them and that happened one of their guys got his leg fractured.
    just had a load of chicken (pre emptive protein loading) gonna need that after the game ill prolly be sore lol, its only a "friendly", just imagine it as the nazi reform team vs Rabbai team lol thats about as friendly as its gonna be.
    Anyway im gonna go prep all my kit and stuff, post again soon
    mattxxx

    Current Mood: jealous
    Current Music: decemberists- la im yours
    Thursday, July 28th, 2005
    10:29 pm
    pettiness is a disease
    Work was pretty good today, got to do some call listening and its not too hectic, even uber high season will only get 70 calls a day which is cool. Learnt a lot of the agency sales manager james today which was cool and got introduced to a load of new support systems which were very useful. Hopefully i will enjoy it when i get on the phone myself, i get to go on educationals to france and spain and stuff which is cool. going on the one to brittany in northern france on 2nd september which will rock.
    anyway im kinda tired from work and stuff so ill go to bed now

    Current Mood: exanimate
    Current Music: Deceberists-angels in your angles
    Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
    8:58 pm
    in another life
    Yeah so my job is going pretty well, michael my trainer guy says he likes my enthusiasm and product knowledge and thinks ill make a good sales agent, which is cool, just doing training atm wont go live till the 3rd week, cant wait to get into a nice routine and start getting some money together, i get virtually free holidays sometimes now because of my job and large discounts on hotels and stuff if i dont wanna use keycamp accomodation.
    Why is it when you get a job and start to sort yourself out you have no-one special to share it with?i have plenty of offers but so far nothing that appeals, i just want my ex back if im honest, but if shes doesnt want me after me trying so hard to get her back then i dont think shes worth it, ive gotta stop moping around and open my eyes to the possibility of being happy with someone else because i dont have the option of being with the person i love anymore, which hurts a lot. Anyway dave "appropriated" a load of stuff from the lab which we are gonna use to make black powder from and blow stuff up with which should be pretty cathartic.
    gotta go eat. post agen soon

    Current Mood: calm
    Current Music: decemberists- eli the barrow boy
    Monday, July 25th, 2005
    8:15 am
    Alone
    So yeah my family went away on holiday for two weeks this morning (at 4am) lol woke me up in the process too, bastards. And i start my job today so i will have to go get a shower and make myself a packed lunch (how 1998)and go and get it over with.
    Gonna be fairly busy because between work and people visiting i wont have a lot of free time, and we have a game at home against the voodoo in roller hockey on sunday, which is tbh really shit because some of our best players are away so i think im just gonna put them through walls and stuff for shits and giggles.

    Thanx for all of you reading who have been asking how i am, im doing ok, still miss my ex a lot but gotta just deal with it.

    Current Mood: blank
    Current Music: Soundgarden-searching
    Sunday, July 24th, 2005
    1:45 pm
    Bands/artists thingy
    A - AFI
    B - Breed 77
    C - Cave in
    D - Deftones
    E - Elliott Smith
    F - Fu Manchu
    G - Godspeed you black emperor
    H - Heatmiser
    I - InMe
    J - Julie Doiron
    K - Killswitch engage
    L - Less than Jake
    M - Meanwhile back in communist russia
    N - No Doubt
    O - One minute silence
    P - Placebo
    Q - Queenadreena
    R - Radiohead
    S - System of a Down
    T - The Decemberists
    U - UK subs
    V - Valerian
    W - Wayriders
    X - x2
    Y - Yesterday is tomorrow
    Z - Zombina & the skeletones

    Current Mood: apathetic
    Current Music: Breed 77 - la ultima hora
    Saturday, July 23rd, 2005
    12:56 pm
    Waiting for maybe
    Went to play squash with dave again last night, drew one set all because thats all we managed to fit into the one hour court session. Then we went into the pool area with marc and PD and some others and used the sauna and the steam room and i went for a bit of a swim too, just a few lengths im not really big into swimming. Afterwards we sat in the bar had a few drinks whilst marc was perving on the kitchen staff and the barmaid eyed me up, lol and after while we were leaving she came up to me and gave me her number, im not interested though, need to be single for a while i think.

    Start my new job on monday which will be interesting, gotta try hard to do well and keep it because i need the money and its ideal as its only a 10 minute walk away from my house.

    just been shopping with my dad to buy nice food for when my parents go away, mmm food.lol lots of nice snacks and stuff.

    Current Mood: contemplative
    Current Music: Julie Doiron- he will forget
    Thursday, July 21st, 2005
    3:10 pm
    Jobby
    Yeah so i got the job which is cool i guess, certainly need the money,got a two week rotating shift which could be fun. Im still in liverpool which is cool just chilling out and stuff, watching the tv about the incidents in london, kinda scary i guess.
    Watched constantine last night, ive seen it before but its still a really good movie, i like films with religious mysticism in them.
    Apparently having sausages for tea, yum,lol, neways imma fuck off now so take care
    xxx

    Current Mood: crazy
    Current Music: mogwai-rock action
    Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
    10:07 pm
    Pretty (ugly before)
    Just got back from Systema, was pretty good, did kicks again tonight but this week mainly roundhouse ones and learnt a few good techniques i hadnt used before that are pretty effective. Also got kicked in the head by one of the girls, lol. Josh is acting like a cock at the moment hes just too wrapped up in himself and his rel with hannah to respect anyone else's feelings or watever, basically hes being slefish and a twat.
    Tomorrow im chilling out with a mate then going to liverpool for two days, so i may or may not be posting for a little while.
    A bird (great tit) flew into the window today when i was ironing my clothes and a cat was obviously chasing it because it was about to pounce on it but i shouted and banged the window and it ran off but the bird was hurt and stunning so i had to pick it up and keep it in the kitchen in some dry grass in a shoe box for a bit and feed it meal worms, then i put it outside on the platform feeder and eventually it flew off, its was really cute, strange having something alive that fits in the palm of your hand thats so emotive (it was scared) also they have pretty sharp claws lol.
    Anyway im going to bed as my knee hurts a bit and im tired, nightxxx

    Current Mood: calm
    Current Music: Elliott Smith- St Ides Heaven
    12:09 am
    stupidity tries
    Just got back from the gym with Dave, played him at squash didnt do too bad, we drew in the end as we over ran our slot, not bad considering i havent played in years. Plus its all good because i can lift much more than he can lol, then we had a few drinks had a chat about relationships/music/literature/sport, and all sorts was pretty cool, my head is pretty clear at the moment.
    Havent heard back about the job yet but just realised i misunderstood when she said she'd call so shes not supposed to have yet, lol, anyway i think tomorrow me josh and sim are all going to systema class which will be cool, me and josh are going the gym before it, lol his mate Sam is so whipped his gf wont let him go to the gym because "there are girls there" and because "shes wants to see him" at precisely the moment he wants to go lol.
    Got katie sorting out the DemonFish logo at the moment, shes an art student so shud have the skills etc etc, and im going to liverpool on wednesday anyways so i can go see what she did for it then which is handy.
    James came over today and we listened to sum cool new music i got downloaded, and he smoked too much and we drank malibu and coke, which is the college nostalgia drink of choice and we messed about recording random anecdotes on his new dictaphone, many random mr hill references such as "mrs hill. why havent you made the tea you two ive been organising the charity luncheon all day and i would have liked the tea to be ready when i got back" "mr hill. well you know why that is dont you, andrew, because your a bastard, thats right im not a bastard you're a bastard, bastard."

    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: Onelinedrawing- a ghost
    Monday, July 18th, 2005
    12:04 pm
    rest of my life
    Gotta start putting the rest of my life back together, some people dont understand that if you love someone that intensly you cant just be their friend afterwards it tears you apart its like waving food in front of a starving man, its what you live for, your sustinance, your 'Raison D'etre'.

    So, i decided to cut all ties with her, she doesnt know what sacrifices i was making for her but i dont care anymore because when she said she didnt love me as much as she used to it hurt me so much i was almost sick. So i just have to get away, and i cant get over her at all if shes right in my face (metaphorically) all the time on msn etc etc.

    Anyway on the 'rest of my life' theme, i think me and Dave are going to play squash tonight, i havent played in years but i re-read all the rules online last night and im pretty sure i will do ok, i should in theory be a lot fitter than him so i'll just have to work him round the court and keep him moving. Also im gonna borrow my dads racket which is a really good one so i have an advantage there. Think we are going to the gym afterwards too, gonna be knackered but gotta do something to keep me from missing her too much.

    James is biking over in a bit too, hes a bit pissed off that he got laid off at his summer job and has nothing to do so im gonna make him draw the demonfish logo for me, (coz hes a really good artist) prolly chat to him about music and stuff, will be cool to see him again havent seen him in a while. Anways i have to go tidy up because the place is a tip so ill maybe post again tonight to tomorrow morning
    Abientot.

    Current Mood: disappointed
    Current Music: Alkaline Trio- time to waste
    Saturday, July 16th, 2005
    5:52 pm
    Cats
    Just been to see my brother in Cats, he was really good actually, and i didnt laugh, how restrained. My grandparents are all here they came to watch him too and nan and grandad are staying over. Havent heard back about the interview yet should hear on monday i think. Its a really nice day today and apparently it will be the same tomorrow which is cool, im playing hockey tomorrow for the first time in 3 weeks which will be fun. Went to liverpool yesterday spent most of the time arguing with my friend about literature and post rock, much fun,just like the old days eh.

    Liverpool is actually a pretty cool city if you give it a chance, i think i might start going there a bit more as theres lots of stuff to explore there and i know manchester pretty well now already and ive kinda lost that unknown element about it. Plus its quicker on the train.

    I miss my old life

    Current Mood: aggravated
    Current Music: Elliott Smith- Somebody that i used to know
    Friday, July 15th, 2005
    10:17 am
    Black cat bone
    So yeah today is another day, went out for a drink with dave last night and chatted about stuff mainly music and then i discussed a couple of books he's bought on my recommendation namely 'keep the aspidistra flying' -by george orwell and 'the outsider'- by albert camus.

    "i thought the poem with the line about the smoke being a huge yellow cat curled around the house, clownish bigger, measuring out its life in coffee spoons, he said the idea of bondage made him laugh, cojoured up an image of some middle aged couple thinking they're being a bit risqué trying to spice up their lagging sex lives with an array of contrived and cliched devices"

    just a small snippet of lyrics from a MBICR song
    Words by Emily Gray

    Last few days my mum has been stressing bad style because my grandparents are coming over on saturday and my mum is overly houseproud and my nan is very obsessed about tidyness, so im going to go do the hoovering in a bit before i do my weights, and get ready to go to liverpool tonight,should be pretty good actually by the sounds of it now, not sure what time im supposed to be going yet but ill have to come back fairly early on saturday because im seeing josh in Cats-im gonna laugh my head clean off.

    Im in an ok mood today so i think ill go eat something pop my headphones on and do the cleaning, then ive gotta go and post a parcel for my dad the ebay addict basically if its not screwed down it gets sold on ebay, lol.anyway i wont be on tonight so i will probably post tomorrow.
    ciao xXx

    Current Mood: okay
    Current Music: Meanwhile back in communist russia-morning after pill
    Thursday, July 14th, 2005
    12:07 pm
    Interview
    Hey people, just had my job interview, went pretty well i think but wont know untill i get the phone call which will either be tomorrow or monday.
    So yeah who knows whats going on, seems quite a lot of my life is hinging on me getting a job soon, anyway i think i might go to the gym and work out tonight as i said gonna keep up the exercise regime get all properly toned and bulk up a bit more. I get to see josh in Cats on saturday, lol less said the better. ooh and i get to play roller hockey on sunday finally (last 2 weeks been at a play and at my grandparents) so yeah thats why ive been skating so much so i still remember how, lol.
    The system album is growing on me too, see patience pays off, maybe its just because i have nothing new to listen too.
    I think i might go put the chickens in the separate run, which means *grab* *flap* *drop* times 3, lol actually melody doesnt mind being picked up, either that or shes too shit scared to struggle.
    Think i have fallen out with Cass again which i didnt wanna do, its just she wont compromise on anything wheras i am willing to compromise on anything in my life, except hockey, but seriously i probably would give up hockey for her, i dont know anymore if im just banging my head against a brick wall (metiphorically)
    neway ill post later probably
    xxx

    Current Mood: exanimate
    Current Music: godspeed you black emperor- moya
    Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
    11:35 pm
    the cat is sad, the mouse will no longer play
    Actually the InMe album isnt that bad, its beggining to grow on me, track 4 it pretty smooth, like the rythum guitar on it, also got the new system abum burnt for me, got a few good tracks but its all trying a bit too hard really.

    "everybody's going to the party have a real good time"....yeah.

    Went out for a bit earlier to think, went to my special place which no-one knows, then i babysat for 2 hours for next door (my bro usually does it but he was doing sumthing) so i looked after their 2 quiet kids and 1 psychotic puppy and got a tenner out of it which was good seeing all i did was listen to my walkman read the argos catalogue and throw a ball for bramble.

    Got my interview tomorrow, gotta think about what they might ask me and remember not to blurt or talk too quickly, its a phone job they gotta be able to understand what the fuck im on about. Oh yeah and ill be wearing a suit, yeah haha i know, and its like mini heatwave weather, oh well, wish me good luck, im gonna go get some shuteye.nightxxx

    Current Mood: calm
    Current Music: system of a down- B.Y.O.B
    12:02 pm
    why is everything always complicated
    How sore am i after last night, lol, that was a serious work out. At least its not as hot today, i might go for a skate again in a bit or watch some tv i am just really really bored and putting off having to think about my interview tomorrow, it'd fine if it didnt really matter, but it does because i really need the job. I got the new InMe album burned for me, and to be honest its pretty shit, and i actually liked the first album, this one has like 3 good tracks on it and the rest are just average with really poor prooduction quality everything seems blended into the mix. So yeah im single again, dont really know what to do with myself of how to handle talking to my ex, because its like we are trying to act the same or something but with all this emotional distance, its prtetty crap to be honest, anyway, forget about that, im going to go read some more of my book eat stupid amounts of food (probably soup) and go for a skate, god my journal is boring, this is why i didnt bother before, lol, laters

    Current Mood: sore
    Current Music: InMe - 7weeks
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